


Love Deeper Than Scars (Don’t Let Your Imagination Kill You)

by Molotov_Man



Series: Nejiten Oneshots [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Self-Harm, first of all let me project onto this rq, you could read it as platonic but I’m actively standing in your way like why would you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:15:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28713393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Molotov_Man/pseuds/Molotov_Man
Summary: Struggling is a story all its own. Burdens cannot be borne alone.
Relationships: Hyuuga Neji/Tenten
Series: Nejiten Oneshots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996492
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Love Deeper Than Scars (Don’t Let Your Imagination Kill You)

**Author's Note:**

> self-harm tw

The rain had kept Neji up for hours past darkness, pounding relentlessly against his window. It would soak Konoha thoroughly, to be sure. The rivers would run high and make travel a bit more treacherous, but such was the way of nature; it would always go back down eventually.

He was at peace with it, but that didn’t mean he could sleep through such a torrential downpour. 

Drowsy and idle, he was startled from his reverie by a harsh knock on his door.

He sighed. Somehow, the elders never seemed to sleep when it came to clan business.

He opened the door, prepared for his uncle or another village elder, but found only his teammate, soaked to the bone and shivering with her eyes trained on the ground.

“Didn’t know where else to go...I’m sorry.”

Blood was dripping from one of her hands, mingling with the rain, and her knees seemed on the brink of giving out.

Neji sprang into action, hoisting her up with an arm around her waist and dragging her inside.

“Tenten, what on earth—“

She looked up at him, still shaking, and her eyes were red and sunken.

“Tenten,” he said again, softer.

She leaned her damp forehead against his chest, no longer strong enough to stay upright without feeling vertigo overtake her. “I’m sorry.”

His arms were around her faster than she could draw a kunai, causing her to start. “Don’t apologize. What happened? You’re soaking wet.”

“Sorry,”

He frowned to himself. “Come on, let’s get you out of those clothes, you must be freezing. Do you want me to get Hinata to help?”

She shook her head. “I don’t mean to stay. I just—I just had to see you.”

Neji scoffed. “You want me to let you walk home? In the dark? In the heaviest rain of the year? You’re halfway to hypothermia already.”

“‘M fine.”

“And you look like you haven’t slept in a week.”

She rolled her eyes half-heartedly. “I’m fine, Neji, really.”

“And your hand is bleeding on my floor.”

She cradled it to her chest instinctively, hiding the damage. “It’s not a big deal, I’ll bandage it when I get home.”

“Plus, you aren’t telling me the whole story. No one makes an early morning visit for fun. I’m bandaging you now.”

He took her uninjured hand and pulled her gently into the bathroom, where a roll of bandages was waiting dutifully on the counter. She leaned against the sink, exhaustion pulling at her limbs.

“Is this glass?”

She flinched at his prodding. “Maybe.”

“What happened back at your place?” He used his Byakugan to pick out the pieces with tweezers, not betraying anything by inflection.

“Nothing.”

“Not nothing. Your hand is shredded.” He used his free hand to tilt her chin up, searching her eyes with his chakra-filled ones. “You’re in pain.”

“Glass hurts.” Her dark eyes revealed nothing more.

Suddenly, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, and pulled away before she could recover from the shock. “Your skin’s too cold to tell if you have a fever. We need to get you warmed up.”

“Neji, I’m going, I promise. I had to see you, I saw you, it’s over. Let me go.”

He didn’t stop wrapping the bandages around her hand, and in fact started moving more slowly. “No,” he said evenly, “I won’t. You needed me and I want to know why.”

She said nothing; there was a tempest of feeling caught in her pupils.

Neji turned his Byakugan off and retrieved a set of clothes from his closet. They’d be too big for her, of course, but they were dry, and that was what counted.

“Put these on.”

“Neji—“

“Do it. I’ll be waiting right here.”

The door closed and Tenten stared blankly at the clothes in her hands. Her eyes flitted unwillingly to the razor on the counter.

“Neji,” she called softly, backing herself against the opposite wall.

“Yes?”

“Why’re you doing this?”

Neji did a double take. “Well...you’re my teammate.”

Silence.

“And. You’re my family. I’ll always look out for you guys.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the wall, maintaining a facade even when there was no one there to see.

“Oh,” she breathed.

She came out of the bathroom moments later, Neji’s clothes hanging loosely from her frame and playing idly with the long sleeves. 

“Hey,” Neji said softly.

“Hey.”

“Come on, I’ll braid your hair so it doesn’t dry weird.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Come on, sit down.”

He sat behind her on his bed, both with their legs pulled up under them. They were close enough to feel each other’s warmth, but not close enough to touch — Neji undid her hair carefully, holding the pins lightly in his teeth.

“How’d you get that glass in your hand?”

“I shattered one. On accident.” She had to admit, his fingers in her hair were soothing beyond belief.

“You’ve been drinking.”

It was a question and a statement all at once, a confirmation of what he already knew.

She swallowed harshly. “Yes. Whiskey.”

“And you shattered the glass in your hand. You’re very strong, you know.”

She blushed faintly.

“That doesn’t answer why you did it.”

“It’s getting to me.” She willed herself to focus on the way his fingers moved methodically, braiding her hair with ease.

“Mm. What is?”

“Everything.”

His fingers paused. “Tenten, are you okay?”

It was a stupid question, in a traditional sense. But they weren’t traditional; if Neji was asking how she was, he meant it entirely, and ‘no’ was a perfectly acceptable answer. It wasn’t a platitude, but rather an invitation to share.

Tenten’s shoulders were hunched and she fidgeted more with the sleeves. “I don’t think so.”

Neji finished the braid and let his hands hover on her shoulders. “Tell me,” he beseeched.

She sighed. “I don’t think you want to know, Neji, honest.”

“Duly noted. Out with it.” And as an afterthought: “Do you...want a hug? Would that make it easier?”

She turned around wordlessly and sank into his embrace, her muscles contesting the sudden change. “I need you to think well of me, Neji. It’s essential for the team.”

“I’d think well of you regardless of team dynamics.”

“I used to want to die.”

Neji’s eyes widened and he drew a sharp breath, pulling her tighter to his chest.

“That came out wrong! I meant that I, um, I used to be badly depressed and it was hard.” She pushed back against him a little, as if to prove her soundness. 

He didn’t relent. “But you meant it. Tenten,”

She stopped struggling.

“Do you want to die?”

“No! No, I have things to live for now, those days are behind me. I’ve just been having a rough go of it lately and sometimes I want to relapse into bad habits.”

“What kinds of bad habits?” He knew she could and had drank a lot, what with her insanely high alcohol tolerance, but she truly had it under control; it was a special-occasions-only thing, from what he knew.

She squeezed her eyes shut, braving herself for a myriad of reactions. “Hurting myself.”

Neji felt like his heart had stopped, leaving an ache in its place.

He took a breath in. He released it.

“Tenten, I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

She opened her eyes. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not. I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re alone. Your team is behind you. I’m behind you. Always.”

“Thanks Neji,” she said, burying her face in his neck.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

She squeezed him tighter and then leaned back, worrying her sleeves again. “You don’t mind?”

“Of course not. I want to know whatever you want to share.”

“The scars are kind of...bad. I haven’t really done it since I decided to become a ninja, because that gave me something to work towards, something to live for. But, uh, I still get the urge sometimes. It gets hard. And they aren’t the most beautiful reminders.”

“Tenten,”

“Yeah?”

“Do you want to show me?”

“I, um,” she swallowed, the words threatening to choke her.

“You don’t have to.” Neji was quick to supply.

“No, I…I want to.”

She pulled the sleeves up slowly over one arm and then the other, Neji’s eyes following her movements passively. The scars revealed were jagged and thick, looking deep and healed without proper medical attention. They were old, which helped, but still far too obvious.

“There’s more on my hips and a couple on my legs, kind of scattered around. It’s weird, right?” She laughed weakly.

Neji’s hands stayed poised over her forearms, allowing her ample time to pull away, before resting against her skin. “It’s not weird.”

Their eyes met. All at once, Tenten saw that Neji was safe, and would be safe for her. Like a wall that sheltered her from rain, he was strong and solid enough for her to lean on when she couldn’t stand alone. The beautiful thing about Neji was that he didn’t expect her to stand alone at all — he saw her strength and it only intensified his desire to help her up.

“It’s just a part of your history, Ten. There’s nothing bad or wrong about that. I’m proud of you for getting through it. I’m so proud of you.”

Her breath hitched. “O-okay.”

He brushed a loose string of hair behind her ear and hooked his lithe fingers under her jaw. “Stay here. I don’t want you to walk in this cold rain and you shouldn’t be alone right now. Let me be with you.”

She nodded mutely, leaning into his touch.

“Good. I’ll be on the floor if you need me.”

Tenten grabbed his arm as he reached around her for a pillow. “Wait. Just, sleep up here, with me, will you? It’s not too weird, right?”

Neji’s face was a little too close to hers for blood not to color his cheeks. “No, it’s not. I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of your vulnerability.”

“Neji, I don’t think you’re going to sexually assault me.”

“Emotionally, you idiot.” He rolled his eyes. “I don’t want to hurt you in any way, ever.”

“Cool,” she rasped, a little misty-eyed at his words. “Lay down?”

He laid beside her, both staring at the ceiling with blankets pulled up to their chests.

“Won’t your uncle be mad about this?”

“He doesn’t have to know. Even if he did, he wouldn’t make a big deal about it in order to preserve image.”

He wants to pick an engagement for me, Neji doesn’t say. She doesn’t need to hear that, not now. Besides, Neji had already made up his mind on the matter.

“What about Hinata?”

Neji chuckled drily. “What about her?”

“Won’t she think it’s weird when I come out of your room in the morning?”

“Hinata didn’t think it was weird when I spent an entire day walking on the ceiling just to irritate Hiashi. She won’t care that one of her friends spent the night.”

“You aren’t putting this in the context of people thinking we’ve had sex because I stayed over.”

Neji shrugged. “Do you care?”

“Well, do you?”

They looked at each other for a moment and started laughing. “Just go to sleep, idiot,” he muttered.

“D’you wanna...I don’t know,” Tenten took once more to fiddling with her too-long sleeves.

Neji thought it was cute, and he filed it away as another thought he’d never say out loud. “If you want to commit a crime, I understand but I’m going to have to make you wait until morning.”

“What? No, I was going to ask if you wanted to cuddle, you fucking psycho.”

“I’m not the one who suggested arson as Kakashi and Gai’s anniversary celebration.”

“They had a wonderful time! Are you coming over here or not?”

“What, like you’re going to make me be the little spoon in my own bedroom? You roll over.”

“Unrealistic. I’m the top in this dynamic.” She obeyed nonetheless.

“Tch. You are not.”

They laid there for a while, soaking in warmth and peacefulness. Neji’s hand drifted over her forearm again and she stiffened, if subtly.

“Hey...” he shifted uncomfortably. “You know I love you no matter what, right? You know it’s...Team Gai forever?”

She turned in his arms and pressed her forehead to his chest. “Dumbass. I know.”


End file.
